A Life Restored

The dear, precious eyes of my Daddy looked back at me from the hospital bed. Eyes filled with pain and a confusion rarely seen there before.

How could this be? This strong man…. This godly man who is still one of the most influential foundations of my life… How could we not know what was happening to him? How could he—he who always seemed to be in control of everything as I was growing up—how could *he* not know what was going on?

Oh, those eyes… suddenly old… sunken… duller than they’ve ever been before…. dehydrated…. Face suddenly filled with lines too… all from lack of hydration.

I was so frazzled by the hospital sounds! When would they stop? Especially that incessant beeping! That awful interference of technology that kept beat with his heart!?! And yet, as interfering as it was—it was still a sign that his heart was continuing its normal beat. It is still strange to me how my musical mind began trying to harmonize with that beep—even as my heart struggled against it.

Oh Lord, why right now, my mind questioned? Why not *after* Christmas? And yet, I know the Lord’s timing is always perfect, and that reality waits for no one. Not even when we want it to…

For days we waited… all the while praying, wondering, and hoping… Oh the peace that passes all understanding! What would we be without it now, I wondered? How could I get through this without the Lord? Thank the Lord I don’t have to!!!

The tests—all the tests came back inconclusive. The questions continued. Why? Why? Why?!? What was causing the terrible pain? Why the burning, distended stomach/abdomen?

Finally, near the end of the week the doctor said it was time for surgery. Infection was setting in. When we asked where the infection was and what was causing it--he still had no idea. All he would say is that nothing made sense.

Forty-five minutes after the surgery began; it was over, and the answers came pouring out of the doctor’s mouth. Oh, how his words soothed our souls and calmed our worries! His words were like a healing balm! That’s when I realized that even as I had been resting in the Lord, my flesh was still alive and well... always there tugging and fighting for attention—trying to get me to take my eyes off the Lord and keep them off Him...

The doctor explained that it was all caused by an adhesion located 3 feet from the stomach. This adhesion was a band-like thing around the small intestine that cut off all digestion. The doctor still had questions about why the tests turned out like they did—but said that everything else appeared very healthy and normal.

And then, after Daddy was released from the hospital last Sunday, my mother recalled a memory of her childhood: her grandfather lying in bed for three weeks having horrible abdominal pain—until he died a pain-filled death… at ninety-nine...

Oh thank You Lord for the beeping! For the interference of technology! For the mercy You bestowed upon my family by saving my precious Daddy’s life through the miracle of surgery… Thank You for his life this Christmas!

But thank You most of all for our eternal life. Because even if things hadn’t turned out like they did (for we are *all* terminal cases—it’s just a matter of time…) we still have the assurance that through Christ’s Holy sacrifice, His payment for our sins, we will all meet again in heaven! Even such a sinner as I…

We praise You Lord!

Oh, what praises we will sing around Your throne!

Sending (((Hugs))) and much love to all my dear friends! :-)

Art ©2007 by ooly!

Dreamy Evening Sky

It’s a beautiful dress… Navy, long, and sprinkled with dreamy twinkling stars of a crystal clear sky and a perfect evening…

What is it about a beautiful dress that makes a girl feel special?

Is it because of all the fairytales we grew up with? The stories of rags to riches; slave girls to princesses? Or is it simply the fulfillment of a secret, selfish, inner desire for things to be about one’s self again?

I can’t help but feel a bit selfish… We bought a beautiful dress and spent quite a bit of money. If it had been on another family member—it wouldn’t have bothered me. But no, this was on me… Yes, we needed it for an important event. But, I’m not used to having that kind of money spent on me anymore.

So, now I wonder several things. The first is: How long will I suffer from this guilt? The second thing I wonder is: Is it worth it? Will this dress cover the shyness and akwardness I always feel inside?

It didn’t help that our sweet daughter mentioned that since I’ve been going to evening outings like this, she has become angry at herself for getting jealous of me.

Jealous of me?!? (Bless her sweet heart, she also admitted she’s also happy for me at the same time…)

See, for the last five years, I’ve been a “home body.” I’ve gone very few places outside of home. Now, I’m once again able to get out and around like a “semi-normal” person—and I feel…. Guilty?

Why am I confused about this?

I feel like I’m fighting my flesh—yet living an example for the Lord. I’m so torn in two different directions… And I'm learning that this feeling runs deeply in my precious daughter's veins as well...

Life is such a dichotomy sometimes…


Praying that the Lord helps each of us as we seek to live for Him. Much love to you in Jesus,

ooly!


Picture from:http://www.sydneyscloset.com/asp/product.asp?categoryid=52&catalogid=1821

GraceFully Falling Petals

As a mother dispensing life’s lessons, I’ve often seen my job as that of strewing flower petals (given by the Lord) in our children’s pathway of life. As they trample on the petals, oh, how I pray that this fragrance is pleasant unto Him—even if it tears my heart.

They say that people remember fragrances long after a memory is forgotten… I pray they remember…

And sometimes, after a long day, I wonder where the last petal will fall.

I’ve been amazed at how petals sometimes rush out of my hands and away in ways I can’t seem to control. Sometimes I’m completely overwhelmed by petals of love that whirl away with the breeze of life, even as I try to grasp them and hold on. Sometimes I can’t help but cling more closely to each petal before letting go or hanging on only by what seems like a very thin thread of prayer.

And yet, each petal falls. It must. For this is His calling on my life.

Sometimes the petals land on hard cracked concrete and are purposely ground underfoot while sparks fly from beloved eyes.

But sometimes the petals have a soft landing; in well tilled velvety soft soil… And they grow in ways we never expected, blooming beautifully and abundantly. And we see our dear children—as the Lord sees them—peeking out at us through those lovely petals…

And that’s what makes it all worthwhile.

Picture © 1999 by ooly!

Baby Steps

"Teach Me to Walk" © Jean Keaton: http://www.keatonprints.com/prints_love.htm . Special permission was granted for me to use it in my blog. Please note: Jean Keaton's lovely pencil drawings are fully protected by copyright.

She wraps her chubby hands around the folds of the crocheted blanket that lies on the couch. Her fingers dig into the holes and she begins struggling to rise up onto her wobbly legs. They are not yet completely stable, but they are now strong enough to easily support her weight. It wasn’t long ago that she could only walk holding onto Daddy’s hand. But now, she boldly steps forth into the world… Wondering where this newness will take her.

Slowly she lets the blanket slip out of her fingers as she takes her first tentative step. The first step she’s ever taken by herself.

She stumbles and falls hitting her head on the corner of the coffee table. Before the second sob gurgles forth from her rose bud lips, her Daddy is there, scooping her up in his strong arms… His comforting arms wrap around her, holding her, letting her know everything will be okay. “Yes,” He tells her, “the bump on your head will hurt for a while. You don’t want that to happen again! So be careful my darling!"

She looks up with tear filled eyes as he kisses the tears from her chubby cheeks. A beautiful dew-filled smile breaks through the darkness as the glorious light dawns once again on her beautiful face.

Her daddy sets her down, knowing that she will once again boldly walk away...
and stumble.

and fall again...

But he will always be there to pick her up...

Sending much love to you in our precious Lord Jesus,

ooly!